I don't write much, especially journal entries. I find it way too difficult to encapsulate so many thoughts and emotions into words. Well, it's been what? Two weeks. Two weeks since I got back from CTY. Quite a while. I still miss it as much as I did that Saturday morning when I woke up in my own bed, and not at UC Santa Cruz. I can't believe half the summer is already gone. Although, thinking about it, yes, I can believe it. I can believe it because the end of the school year seems to have been centuries ago, although only being 6 weeks. I don't know, I really don't. I feel like a different person. So different than I was just 6 weeks ago. That's probably a very trite way to put it, but it's so true. So, it's been 6 weeks, and I thought that bore some significance in my mind, at least enough to persuade me to be writing this right now. This month of August is going to be intense, probably like last year. This could be my last "free" week day, until after the 25th of August. Am I ready? Nope. I guess when I make decisions, I don't really consider if I'll be ready for them. I chose to do this in April, when this felt like it would be so far away. Time's passed by so fast, and I'm already here, about to do this whether I like it or not. I guess it's one way to live life. This way, I won't have any regrets, I choose to do things regardless of some circumstances, so to speak. You know, as much as I think about it, I can't believe that it's been two years since 8th grade, I really can't. That I'm actually in high school. In my mind, I'm still that young kid, having no inhibitions in the summer. Wasting the summer away. Swimming. Fishing. Basketball. Kid stuff. Except now, it's all different, I suppose. Where has summer gone? Where summer used to be has been replaced by work for school and more work. I remember when I used to go fishing at the lake everyday. It was so calm, so relaxing. Feels like ages ago, and I guess it is. 3 years ago. Back then, I didn't appreciate all the little things that I did in the summer, all the little things that I was allowed to do. I didn't know that one day, I would be too busy for stuff like that. I wish I would have cherished the moments that, at one point or another, consumed my summer. It's funny how life works out, you really don't know what you have until it's gone. Then you look back, and realize how good it was. I guess it's always been a problem of mine. I get nostalgic, I look bad and think about the actions not done, or the words left unspoken. Maybe that's why I try to live life to the fullest nowadays, to enjoy every single moment. I think it's the only truly way to "live". If we don't do that, if I don't do that, I'd just be a piece of organic matter that was breathing. It's not the same. I'm talking to my friend, Alex. It's his birthday today. He's from Northern California. It's weird to think about it, but just twenty years ago, no one could imagine that they would be able to communicate with someone just a few hundred miles away. Nowadays, I can send him an IM, and in milliseconds, he will receive the message that was sent to him. It's really incredible. Technology is truly amazing, it allows us to keep in touch with people all around the world. I've talked to people in so many different countries, and all it takes is a single push of a button. We've come so far, but there is still so much to go. There is still so much to go in all aspects of life, though. I mean, I still have 3 more years of high school, and then 7 years of college, if I want to be a lawyer. It'll be a long time, and who knows if it'll ultimately pay off? But I guess we can't think too much about this. We just have to live. I'm thinking of a creative way to end this, but no ideas come to mind. I guess what I just wrote was a look into what I'm thinking right now.